How To Say No, Elegantly

The word No is so simple to spell, yet this seemingly simple word is so complicated for many of us. Can I get a witness?

For a long time, I struggled with saying No. I was often overworked, overwhelmed, overscheduled, overbooked, and overcommitted. (Literally, all of the over-this and over-that, lol) I also need to mention my poor personal habits, such as procrastination and poor preparation, that often got in the way of my progress.

After much study and observation, I realized that I struggled with saying No because:

1. I did not understand the value of the word nor how to use it.

2. I was afraid of the potential awkwardness or negative outcome.

Let's address each one.

During a keynote presentation a few years ago, I shared how I define the word, PLANNING, with the group. To me:

Today, I would like to help you see the word No differently. I would also like to help you see the relationship between saying No and the practice of Planning. Allow me to use some math here. Shall we? 😄

If you desire to experience more possibilities (or success), planning your time and resources will help you prepare for those possibilities. However, saying No to certain things will help you make room to experience those possibilities.

In order to consistently deliver high value with my writing, I plan and have an allotted time on my schedule for writing my weekly publications. This first practice is planning. Next, I usually have to decline other obligations or distractions to make room for writing. This second practice is the art of saying No. Imagine what you could have missed if I refused to say no to distractions and yes to writing this publication.

Saying NO to what isn't presently important and saying YES to what is has significant value. Now, let's briefly address the second reason: fear or awkwardness.

I no longer feared saying No once I became better equipped and prepared. I discovered an elegant way of saying No. I start by pausing and giving thought to what my response should be, and then I apply the following framework below.

How to Say No - The Elegant Framework

How To Say No - The Elegant Examples:

From my personal library of experiences and following this elegant path, here are some (real-life) elegant ways I have learned to communicate and apply the word No.

Declining or Saying No to a Solicitation

Dear Person, (or Hello Person)

Thank you for reaching out, and thank you for considering NOTIQ. I checked out your portfolio and saw that you do remarkable work.

NOTIQ currently has a resident, product stylist, and photographer who handles and produces our beautiful imagery, so we have no need in this area at this time.

Thank you again for considering NOTIQ. I wish you so much success this new year!

Warmly,

VJ

Declining or Saying No to an Invitation

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